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I never talk about my marriage on this blog, but today, I am going to make an exception.
I am a pretty private person when it comes to my marriage. I don’t talk to a lot of people about it and prefer to keep my DH (Dear Hubby) and that part of our life out of the public eye.
My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years and together for almost 12. In that time we have gone through A LOT and have watched each other mature as we have worked through what life has thrown at us. It has really been a tough, but amazing journey as I look back on the time we’ve been together.
Lessons in Connection After 10 Years of Marriage
As I get older, I find more and more comfort in my marriage. Not that I didn’t before, but I feel a new appreciation for our relationship in my mid-30s than I did in my mid-20s. It’s strange, but I almost feel like we are finally adults as we approach our 10 year anniversary.
I feel like our relationship is evolving to a new level and that an old chapter is closing with a new one opening.
The most important lessons I have learned after 10 years of marriage are:
- Marriage is hard work and requires full effort on both parties to make it successful.
- Communication is of the utmost importance and is worth improving if you’re not very good at it (i.e. me).
- Having a best friend for life is the best feeling ever.
- Connection is vital and must be something that is constantly made a priority.
One thing that we have noticed over the last year or so is that we don’t spend as much quality time together as we once did.
Sadly sometimes we forget to even make that time available in our schedules. Both of us are working hard to build our own businesses and my husband also works a full time job outside of the home, which leaves “free” time to a minimum.
A couple weeks ago my husband said that he really wanted us to focus on setting aside a specific time every day for us to connect and be present with one another.
I could not agree more with his sentiment and was also thinking it would be nice to find new ways for us to reconnect and reignite that spark. We do take daily walks together, but we needed something a little more intimate (don’t worry, this blog post is going to stay G rated!).
Ironically a few days later, Denis Merkas, creator of Melt: Massage for Couples reached out to me and asked if I would like to review his course on my site. I had never heard of him before, so I took it as a sign and said yes. I love to review new products and services and then share about them on this site (though not all of them make the cut — if I don’t love it, I won’t share it). I have pretty high standards when it comes to the brands I support because I want you to be able to know about the best products and services out there.
Anywho, I digress…
Denis got me all set up and when I logged in and watched the first few videos, I knew it was going to be the perfect addition to our marriage.
Massage can be an incredible way to reconnect with your partner. Touch can be healing and rejuvenating.
Physically, massage offers many health benefits like stress and pain relief, improved circulation, etc., but massage also works on a deeper level when shared with your partner. It creates a bond and an intimacy that brings your relationship to a much stronger place.
Since both DH and I love getting massages and we were looking for a way to reconnect within our marriage, we knew that the Massage for Couples course was perfect for us.
7 Tips for Creating the Perfect Date Night
One very common tradition for couples is to have regular date nights. This is something that DH and I never do because we “never have time” or “never have the money”.
That is simple no excuse though because there are simple ways to create an amazing date night at home (and on a budget). Here are my top tips for a deliciously melty massage date night:
1. Be Committed. Make sure that you are both committed to being present during the time you set aside. This could be one hour or 5 hours, whatever works for your schedule.
2. Disconnect (so you can reconnect). Turn off your computers, phones, iPads, TVs, etc. You don’t want any distractions as you focus on your relationship.
3. Speak Mindfully. Be mindful of your dialog with your partner. This is not the time to be talking about your work, your bills, the home repairs that need to be done, etc.
4. Eat Something Delicious. I have made a couple sample menus for you at the bottom of this post, including an uber simple (and healthy) chocolate melt-away candy recipe for dessert (don’t these candies look DIVINE? well, they taste divine too!).
5. Turn on Some Music. This could be any music you like, but I prefer to keep it calming and relaxing. DH and I have certain songs and CDs that remind us of special times in our lives, so we like to listen to that when we are reconnecting.
6. Give (and receive) a Massage. Take turns massaging one another using the incredibly simple techniques shown in the Melt: Massage for Couples course (read on for more info).
7. Feel the Spark! Get ready to feel butterflies and sparks as you reconnect and fall in love with your partner all over again. 😉
Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. I was provided a membership to the Melt: Massage for Couples course to see if it was a good fit for my site and my mission. After going through the course and seeing the benefits of massage for reconnecting with my DH, I feel this is a great product for all couples. All opinions expressed in this post are my own. I only recommend products on this site that I personally use and love. If I don’t like it, I won’t share it. 🙂
About Melt: Massage for Couples
Before we go any further, let me tell you a little about Melt: Massage for Couples.
Melt: Massage for Couples was created by Denis Merkas, an Australian professional massage therapist with 15 years experience. Denis has massaged some huge celebs, people like Pierce Brosnan, Pearl Jam, James Earl Jones, Jared Leto, Alice in Chains, Pussy Cat Dolls, F1 drivers, sports stars and even royalty!
Denis believes that everyone deserves a massage and it has been proven that when you and your partner exchange massages, it builds trust, fosters a deeper connection, and supercharges your intimacy.
Denis discusses this in his video below. And because I am such a sap, I got all teary the first time I watched it. The music, coupled with the reminder of how much I love my DH, really did me in. 😉
Why All Marriages Need Melt: Massage for Couples
We have all probably given our partner a back rub from time to time, but our hands most likely get tired too fast and it may not feel as good as we (or they) would hope.
This is what our experience has been. We love getting massages but rarely get them (because of cost) or give them (because it hurts our hands, backs, etc.).
When Denis introduced me to his program, I immediately fell in love with the idea that DH and I could give one another massages that lasted longer than one minute AND would help us rekindle and reconnect on a deeper level. All without our hands getting tired or our backs going out!
This is specifically why Denis created his course. He thinks every relationship deserves a little bit of massage and both partners should feel good while doing it.
The methods taught in the course are simple and easy for anyone to learn, no matter if you’re a beginner or an expert. They are crafted in a way to optimize the comfort of both the person giving the massage and the person receiving the massage.
Denis offers three different massage series in his Melt Experience course. You start with the basics and then move on to the more in-depth. We’re hanging out in the Basics section for right now as we’re not quite ready to move on to the Highlights or Deep Tissue series. That said, we are excited to know they will be there for us when we’re ready.
1. The Basic Series :: This series starts with correcting some of the most common massage mistakes and showing you the foundations of your massage with long, sweeping strokes. You watch the short videos with a technique or tip in each, and it ends with a 5 minute follow-along massage routine.
2. The Highlights Series :: This is where things start to get really good! You learn to look for the sore spots on each other’s bodies and how to work them. The neck, shoulders, lower back, arms, head…you’ll find places you didn’t even know that were sore! After you learn the 9 techniques from this series, there’s a 15-minute massage routine to follow along to. Hands still don’t hurt!
3. The Deep Tissue Series :: So many people, myself included, love Deep Tissue stuff but it shouldn’t by over-emphasized. Denis leaves these tips to the very end for good reason, but they are such good techniques. It ends with an epic 30-minute massage follow along massage routine.
There is A LOT of information in this course. Way more than I had expected when I first logged in. DH and I have loved going through the course and practicing the moves. We started out by just selecting the very first basic massage stroke and practiced that until we felt comfortable with it.
Then we moved on to the back massage, the neck massage, etc. and practiced each on individually until we felt comfortable with it. Once we felt we had them down we started mixing them into each massage session.
And when I say massage session, I’m not talking about 60 or 90 minute massages. You really can massage for as long as you like, but even a few minutes can do wonders for relieving tension and bringing your focus back to your marriage.
This truly is an online course series that any and all couples could benefit from.
Melt: Massage Course Fast Facts
1. The videos are beautifully filmed, in short clips so you do not need to commit to hours of massaging. You could simply watch one video and then practice that technique on your partner.
2. There is absolutely no nudity in the videos. Nothing dirty, and no awkward moments. It’s clean and beautifully crafted.
3. The videos show couples how to use their hands properly so they don’t tire out or get sore.
4. Makes for a great date idea (with so many techniques, there’s enough here for a year’s worth of clever date ideas at home – no babysitters required).
5. Play on any device, laptop, tablet / iPad, Smart TV. Instant access, on demand video.
6. Denis and Emma are a married couple who still use these techniques in their own relationship.
7. Over 10,000 couples have been taught. Let us show you how to relax your partner and make them melt.
FREE Massage Tools: Special Melt Offer for Delicious Obsessions Readers
As my husband and I move into a new chapter of our marriage, we are committed to putting our relationship at the top of our priority list. Life is always going to be busy and hectic, but keeping our foundation firm and connected is going to be the key to how well we handle what is thrown at us.
Even taking a few minutes every day to reconnect, hug, kiss, or cuddle can dramatically improve the strength of your relationship. I am truly excited to see what the next 10 years (and beyond) holds for us!
Melt has free tools that take you through some brilliant massage tips to get you started. Check those out via this link and see if it’s something that you enjoy. It’s definitely worth looking into if massaging your spouse is something that you can see yourself doing!
Now, if you’re like me and you know that this is just what your relationship needs, I’ve organized a special deal with Denis for this week only (10/28/15 – 11/4/15)! Get 20% off the bundled courses – only $79 (valued at $147 in total). This offer ends November 4, 2015 at 11:59pm PST.
(remember, this special ends 11/4/15 at 11:59pm PST)
This special promo is for the Delicious Obsessions community only, with 20% off the retail price for LIFETIME video access to these incredible massage techniques. Because, as Denis and Emma, the creators of MELT say, every relationship deserves a little massage. Visit MELT: Massage for Couples to learn more.
This course is not only great for inexpensive stay-at-home date nights (works out at around $26 a date night if you split it over three nights!). It’s even less (at $6.50 per date) if you set up a massage date idea once a month!
In addition, gift vouchers are available at the promotional price right now and can be used whenever you like, as they never expire! This means you can stash them away for birthdays, anniversaries, or even wedding presents and gift them (along with a beautiful massage oil and a scented candle) for a unique gift for your friends and family.
5 Ingredient Chocolate Meltaways
OK, who doesn’t love chocolate? While you can definitely buy gorgeous chocolates at the store, why not make your own at home and save a little time and money? Plus, if you’re suffering from a variety of food sensitivities like me then this allows you to control the ingredients and ensure you can have an enjoyable sweet treat with your partner.
These chocolates are SUPER easy to whip up and only use FIVE ingredients (though you’re welcome to add more like different flavoring extracts, course sea salt, nuts, seeds, coconut, etc.).
I like to use little silicone molds to make mine (you can find those at places like Target, Wal-Mart, or Amazon). If you don’t have molds, you can simply use an ice cube tray, or you can even chill the mixture a little in the fridge and make little drop candies on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper
- In a double boiler, melt the chocolate, coconut oil, and sweetener together until smooth.
- Remove from heat and stir in vanilla bean powder and sea salt.
- Pour the mixture into molds of your choice and chill for at least 2 hours in the fridge or 1 hour in the freezer before serving.
- If you don't have the silicone molds, place the mixture in the fridge for about 15 minutes and then you should be able to spoon some out onto a wax paper lined cookie sheet. Chill and then serve.
- Feel free to customize this recipe with flavor extracts of your choice. You could even add some nuts, seeds, shredded coconut, etc.
Sample Date Night Menu Ideas
You really don’t have to create anything fancy for date night. The most important part of date night is not what you eat, but how present and focused you are during the time you spend together.
But, if you do want to create something delectable for dinner, here are a few menu ideas!
Date Night Menu 1
- Easiest and Most Delicious Crock Pot Beef
- Roasted Beet and Walnut Salad with Spiced Kombucha Vinaigrette
- Rustic Apple Tartlets with Vanilla Coconut Ice Cream
Date Night Menu 2
- Saffron Chicken with Orange Reduction
- Roasted Baby Carrots with Tarragon, Sea Salt, and Butter
- Bananas Foster with Vanilla Coconut Ice Cream or Whipped Cream
Date Night Menu 3
None of these menus piuing your interest? Check out my massive recipe library here for hundreds more ideas!
REMINDER: Massage for Couples Special Offer
Don’t forget to take advantage of the special Melt: Massage for Couples offer for Delicious Obsessions readers — 20% off the bundled courses – only $79 (valued at $147 in total).
I can truly say that I think this course would benefit every relationship out there, bringing you closer to your partner and creating a stronger bond that will last a lifetime. Plus, there are free massage tools to get you started.
(remember, this special ends 11/4/15 at 11:59pm PST)