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{Note from Jessica: Today’s post is shared by my dear friend Kelly Matsudaira. Kelly is passionate about personal development and reflection on life and often pops in to share words of wisdom! I hope you enjoy today’s article!}


by Kelly Matsudaira

Even though there are billions of people on this planet, there is one thing we all have in common: We all seek happiness.

There are many people who pay thousands of dollars every year trying to find their happiness – from seeing therapists and attending workshops to reading self-help books and going on spiritual retreats.

But here’s the secret: It’s already inside us. Happiness comes from within, not from the external world around us.

People, places and things will never make you happy. You may think they will for a short period of time, but then you’ll be back to wanting more, not feeling satisfied and once again, feeling depressed.

Happiness is a state of mind that you choose to be. You can choose to be happy at any time no matter what the circumstances of your life are putting you through right now.

However, most people choose to dwell on the negative, always look at the worst case scenario and want to gripe and complain about everything going wrong in their lives.

You can be your own worst enemy by sabotaging your life and preventing yourself from feeling the wonderful feelings of joy, bliss, satisfaction, and happiness.

Why do people self-sabotage? Because they can’t bring themselves to see the truth, the truth that they are a wonderful, beautiful, perfect, loving human being that deserves to be happy. It’s easier to reject and hate yourself than to accept and love yourself when you’re fighting those deep dark demons.

However, you can fight off those terrible feelings of despair, hopelessness, unworthiness, and unhappiness by diving deep inside yourself. Go within to find your happiness.

Meditation is a great tool to discover your true self. Then you can decide who you want to be and be it. You are a creator of your own reality, so create the grandest life of your biggest wildest dreams.

But first, you need to find out if you are standing in your own way.

Here are seven signs you are sabotaging your own happiness:

  1. You’re afraid of failing. There is nothing wrong with failing because it is during that time that you learn your greatest lessons and learn from your mistakes. You grow as a person and learn more about yourself. You will find that you are stronger than you think.
  1. You have lost your confidence and self-esteem. If you are constantly judging yourself, verbally abusing yourself and always making excuses, then it’s time to stop. Learn to be more compassionate to yourself. I’m sure you would never talk to a loved one the way you talk to yourself. Quit taking things so personally because most of the time, it’s not about you.
  1. You care too much about what others think. What other people think of you is none of your business. You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Quit assuming you know what everyone is thinking. It doesn’t matter. Live your life according to your truths.
  1. You compare yourself too much to others. You are living your own life and telling your own story. You will never be like anyone else because you can’t be. You just need to be you and express to the world who you really are, not someone else. Everyone is on their own journey.
  1. You think everything has to be perfect. Life is like a roller coaster with tons of ups and downs. There will be times of difficulty and challenges as well as times of peace and serenity. You can’t know one without the other so embrace all life has to offer and stop expecting everything to always be perfect because it won’t be. Perfectionism is resisting what is and life can’t flow naturally if you don’t accept life as it is.
  1. You put everyone else’s needs above your own. You love your family and friends and always want to take care of them; however, it’s okay to love and take care of yourself, too. Remember to take time for you once in awhile because honestly, your happiness is the only thing that matters. If you aren’t happy, then those around you won’t be happy. It’s more than okay to be selfish and put yourself first.
  1. You live in fear instead of in love. There are times when it feels like life is so unfair, but I will tell you that the Universe is not out to get you. There is nothing against you but your own limited mind and distorted perception. Love is all there is. We create the fear in our lives and in our minds. Be bigger than your fears and have faith in yourself. You are so much more capable than you could ever imagine. Change your view towards fear to F.E.A.R. = Feeling Excited And Ready. Life can be so joyful if you allow it.

It’s easy to get swept away in today’s drama-filled world, but your happiness is important. You are important and worthy of having a joyful, happy life. Choose it for yourself, and then make it happen. Be proactive in taking the necessary steps to making your life the happiest it can be.

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