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{Note from Jessica: Today’s post is shared by my dear friend Kelly Matsudaira. Kelly is passionate about personal development and reflection on life and often pops in to share words of wisdom! I hope you enjoy today’s article!}


by Kelly Matsudaira

Passion can be difficult to keep alive in any relationship, whether you’re in a long-term commitment or have been married for 30 years. However, it’s important to still keep that spark alive between you and your partner to build a stronger and deeper connection.

Relationships can fade, turn dull and boring or become so predictable that you lose interest in the other person. But don’t lose hope just yet because you can turn things around and increase that passion you once had, or create new passion.

But first, recall back to the period when you and your partner first started dating and wooing each other. I’m sure you felt really excited about them because it was new and passionate. You might have noticed the physical excitement in your body: your stomach flip-flopping, your heart beating faster and your breathing becoming heavier. You probably felt really good about yourself; you felt beautiful, sexy, confident and irresistible to your companion.

It’s time to feel that way again and get your “sexy back.”

12 Ways to Become Simply Irresistible to Your Partner

Below are 12 ways to catch your partner’s eye again and become simply irresistible to them. Before you know it, they won’t see anyone else in the room and want only you.

1. Dress up. If you’re used to staying home all the time and always lounging around in your sweats or pajamas, plan a date night out. Get dressed to the nines in your favorite fancy dress or suit, fix up your hair, (ladies, put on some make-up) and have a fun night out on the town just the two of you. Just seeing your partner all dressed up and looking hot may just be the thing to put the butterflies back in your stomach. Be sure to wear what makes you feel comfortable and sexy.

2. Wear their favorite scent. Smell is another sense that can really turn your partner on. Whether you’re going out or just having a movie night on the couch, a few sprays of their favorite perfume, cologne or body spray can draw them into you more and make you irresistible. Before you know it, they may not be able to keep their hands off you!

3. Use body language. Flash a smile, make eye contact or just give your undivided attention to let your significant other know that you are thinking about them and care about what they are saying. A really big turn-on for some people is when they are out in public – If you’re talking to a few people and they are a few feet away talking to another group of people, grab their attention by making eye contact with them, and then wink. A wink makes people feel very special and important.

4. Show your confidence. I’m not talking about being arrogant or braggadocio. It’s sexy to be around someone that exudes confidence and just feels grounded in who they are. They know what they want and it shows. It feels good to be around a confident person because then they start to attract others and those people start to feel good about themselves. It’s like a ripple effect.

5. Show interest in what THEY enjoy. It’s not always about you. When you show interest in what your partner likes, you’re showing them that you are really interested in them. You care about their likes, dislikes, hobbies and interests. Then you can do fun activities together and connect even more with each other.

6. Give compliments. Everyone loves to be noticed, whether they voice it or not. When you give a compliment, it shows that you took the time to notice something about your partner. It also feels good to make others feel good, especially those you love. So the next time you see your companion, say something nice about their outfit, hair, eyes, smile, or any other physical feature. You can also just tell them how much you appreciate them and everything they do for you, or how much they mean to you. Practicing gratitude can also really grab their attention.

7. It’s the little, everyday things. When you take a moment out of your day for your companion, you are keeping that love alive and showing them that you still care. Sometimes, it’s the little things that matter the most, like doing some chores around the house without having them to ask you to. Or, completing a project they asked you to do month ago, like cleaning out the garage. Or, finally watching that movie together. Or, randomly taking a day off work to spend together. Or, just sitting down and talking with them, working through any issues that may arise. Sometimes, your partner may just need to know that you still have their back and you’re still a team.

8. Cook his/her favorite meal. There’s nothing like seeing the shock and happiness on your loved one’s face when they come home from a hard day’s work to find their favorite meal waiting for them. It sounds very 1950s, old school, but it’s also a very romantic and loving gesture. It may be exactly what they needed after a rough day at the office. When you sit down for your meal, remember to turn off all electronic devices and give your attention to them fully. Ask about their day, how you can help if it’s been a tough day or just show that you’re interested in them.

9. Do something together. The way most of us lead such busy lives these days, it can be hard to break away and take a break, but it can be much needed for relationships. By doing an activity you both enjoy, you’re growing and learning together as a couple, and that can be very intimate. You may learn things about each other you never knew before, no matter how long you’ve been together. Think about taking a class together (cooking, dancing, painting, foreign language) or pick something fun to do like hiking, going on a picnic, seeing a movie at the theater, or getting a couple’s massage at a local spa. It will bring you closer together and give you valuable time with each other.

10. Remember important dates. Keep a calendar or date book and write down important dates that you know your companion will remember. Then you’ll surprise and flatter them when you remember those dates, like your anniversary, day you proposed or your first date. You may even want to try to recreate some of those special moments such as going to the same place you proposed or had your first date, playing that song you favored during that time period or eating that same meal. Have fun and get creative!

11. Write little notes to your partner. Writing love letters is a lost art these days with all the electronic devices we use. Surprise your partner with short love letters and leave them all around the house for them to find. Leave a note in the bathroom for when they first get up in the morning. Put a note in their lunch bag for an afternoon lift. Stick a note on the car windshield so they leave with a smile on their face. And it doesn’t always have to be love letters, you can show your appreciation and gratitude as well. Or, if writing notes isn’t your thing, a simple email or text message in the middle of the afternoon can brighten their day.

12. Surprise your partner in small ways. Most people enjoy surprises because in that moment, it’s all about your loved one and making them feel special. You can surprise them with small gifts, like a bouquet of flowers, a movie or book they’ve been wanting, an item to add to their collection or a piece of jewelry. If money is tight or you don’t want to buy material things, surprise your companion at work and take them out to lunch. Or get home earlier than usual and surprise them with a date night out.

There are a variety of ways to reignite that spark or passion in your marriage or relationship. It takes some work and effort, but to see the smile on their face is so worth it. We all want to know that we’re still loved and appreciated by our loved ones after all these years and everything we do for them.

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