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{Note from Jessica: Today’s post is shared by my dear friend Kelly Matsudaira. Kelly is passionate about personal development and reflection on life and often pops in to share words of wisdom! I hope you enjoy today’s article!}


by Kelly Matsudaira

We all have days when negative or self-defeating thoughts slither into our heads. It’s normal. However, what you do with them is another story.

For me personally, I’m one of those people that gets a negative thought in my mind and it stays there for the next week, ruining my days.

I obsess over them constantly, over-thinking and over-analyzing. Why did I have that thought? Where did it come from? What does it mean? How can I stop myself from going to that dark place again? How can I control my thoughts?

The worst thing you can do is fight or resist your negative thoughts. In our society, we’re taught that those kinds of thoughts are “bad” and we shouldn’t be thinking them. But they are normal to have and you just have to learn how to deal with them.

It’s about changing your attitude towards your own negativity.

I’ve learned that everyone can get down about life, their situation, or themselves but some people, the ones I deem “happy” people, are the ones that don’t follow their thoughts. They don’t dwell so much on the negative, like I do. They see the thought, acknowledge it, and then let it pass. I’m practicing very hard to adopt this kind of control.

We all need to remember, myself included, that thoughts are just that – thoughts. They aren’t real. They aren’t who we are. They don’t have to control us. They are just stories we tell ourselves and we can choose to believe them or not.

7 Negative Thoughts That Are Ruining Your Life // deliciousobsessions.com

Here are seven toxic thoughts you need to stop thinking right now because they just aren’t true:

1. I am not enough.

You are ALWAYS enough. There is nothing you need outside of yourself to feel whole and complete. Everything you need to feel good about yourself is within you. To rid yourself of feeling insecure, quit comparing yourself to others. You are your own authentic self and on your own journey. Focus on your strengths and work on your weaknesses. There isn’t anything you can’t do if you put your mind to it. Learn to trust yourself, believe in yourself and have faith.

2. I have too many flaws.

The way we see ourselves is not always how others view us. Quit being so critical and hard on yourself. Everyone has something they want to work on. Accept yourself as you are now and focus on goals you want to achieve. However, even if you never achieve those goals, you are perfect the way you are right now in this moment. You are pure perfection.

3. I make too many mistakes or bad choices.

There are no such things as mistakes. There are choices you make, and then they either work for you or they don’t. Try not to label them “good” or “bad.” You can get a great experience from your choices, or you can get a great life lesson from them. Either way, you’ve needed them both to get to where you are now. Embrace each decision you make.

4. My life doesn’t matter.

Every life matters. You were put on earth for a reason. You have a purpose. Find out what that purpose is, and then live it. You have so many skills and talents that you can share with the world. Of all the billions of people on this planet, there is only one of you. You are special and unique.

5. I’m not where I should be in life.

There are no “shoulds” in life. Quit thinking you should be here doing this and having that by this age. Let go of expectations. Your journey is unique to you, and you will live your life the way it’s supposed to be. You are exactly where you need to be right now. If you weren’t supposed to be there, then you wouldn’t be! Again, quit comparing yourself to others or to society’s ideas. Forget what everyone else is doing and just be you.

6. I’ll always be alone.

If you’re going through a difficult time, it’s easy to feel alone, even in a crowded room. However, you are never alone. Call on your family and friends for help. If you don’t have any, find a support group with other people in the same situation you can relate to. There are many groups you can join online and in-person. If you don’t like groups, find a good doctor or therapist you can talk to. There are even specific hotlines you can call to speak with someone. You never have to be alone.

7. My life is a mess and nothing good ever happens to me.

Every person, situation, and event that happens in your life is happening for you, not to you. You’ve attracted everything in your life – your spouse, your job, your living situation, your friends, etc. Everything and everyone has come into your life for a reason. However, if you don’t like a situation, then you have the power to change it. You can get out of that toxic relationship, leave that crummy job, move to a better neighborhood, etc. You can change your life by choosing to change it. Be proactive instead of reactive.

It takes time to change your mindset from negative to positive thinking, especially if you’ve been living this way all your life and that’s all you know. But with hard work, practice and perseverance, you can live a happy, joyful and exciting life. You just have to choose it. You have the power to change your life and your attitude towards it.

Happy Thinking!

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